So it’s been months, perhaps years in the planning. The venue is booked, the dress and suit are hanging in the wardrobe waiting to be worn, the menu has been chosen and the cake is on order. The invitations are out for RSVP and the speeches are now being thought about.
Whaaaaat speeches? – Oh no!!! The BIG day looms larger and closer and then nerves start to kick in as creativity deserts the brain. Performance anxiety and the concerns about how well it will all go on the day are now building up.
It doesn’t have to be this way …follow these:
5 Top Tips to keep you calm under mounting pressure:
- Place your hand on your tummy or on your chest and notice how your hand moves with each rise and fall as you breath. If you have two hands free, even better, place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach and notice which hand moves most. The point of this is to notice your breathing. By placing your hands on yourself it connects you back to body and away from all the stress inducing thoughts to a sense of being present. This is itself can offers a sense of calm, and naturally lead to regulating and deepening of the breath. (Stress can cause fast and shallow breathing causing fuzzy thoughts as oxygenation of the blood is reduced).
- Slow down your speech and begin to say your words and sentences with deliberation and clarity as you communicate. This enables you to have more thinking time and can actually improve your diction and sentence structure. It will also ensure that you can be more focused and attentive in your interactions.
- Mentally and physically rehearse what you want to say or do in front of an appreciative, loving and kind audience if you are rehearsing a speech, walking up the aisle or performing best man/bridesmaid duties. Seek helpful feedback. Be measured rather than rushed. In the end the big day goes past in a blur and you’ll wish you could have slowed it down and remember more of the event afterwards.
- Choose to enjoy it, all of it! Not just the day itself but all of the activities in preparation up to and including the wedding day. Think about all the wonderful ways in which it will go well and about how many things are being ticked off the ‘to do’ list. How exciting it is to be planning such a wonderful occasion in your life and sourcing all of the things that will add to it’s success and the enjoyment for everyone!
- Ask for help. People who love and care about you and your wedding will be more than willing to help out with planning and arrangements if asked. If you can delegate tasks and hand over certain duties – trust it will all be done and step back and allow yourself to be grateful for it is all coming together. You may decide to choose the best man and the chief bridesmaid to coordinate some aspects of your wedding and just communicate with them rather than a whole team. It is really your choice and depends on the level of enjoyment or stress it invokes for you.
Coaching can be a game-changer. I coach the best man, father of the bride, bride and groom to get beyond the nerves and anxiety so that they are fully prepared and set for the best day possible. I will include all of the above top tips and more into ensuring you feel fully emotionally prepared for the big day by creating your circle of excellence, and magic resources to prepare you.
I recommend that you consider coaching throughout the preparation stages whether that’s a year or a month away from the date!
If you want to enjoy the build up and the have a fantastic time on the big day give me a call on 07731 693082.
Frances Barrone – Coach and Mentor
Live Life – Love Weddings
Frances Barrone – MasterCoach (CLC)
Coaching wedding confidence to enjoy the day without stress